matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So much rum. So many feels.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
