my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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