I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
