They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
should my penis look like a turkey
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
