I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
