he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
