Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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