Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
