WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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