I want to make a zoo with you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
