we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
