worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
