at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
