i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I want her autograph on my taint
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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