my vag is so smooth its legendary
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
