CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
