nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
