Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
