2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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