those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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