I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
