he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
