i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
