did you get engaged???
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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