hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
