Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
