Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Is that strawberry winking at me??
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
