Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
