Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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