do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
