is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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