Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
