Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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