awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
