Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The best revenge is premature balding
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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