Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
