can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
