I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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