maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
