she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
