when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
