I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
