at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
