Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
