The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
