I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
