guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
