Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
