Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
