Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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