Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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