help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
