And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
